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Wednesday, October 22, 2014

On Facing Fears - Sometimes you just have to dive right in

Put me in front of a large audience, whatever size, and ask me to dance and I have no problem at all - I always feel confident, exhilarated, and have mastered being able to transform nervous energy into positive. Of course the numerous years of training and experience have helped in getting me this far. 

Now ask me to speak and give a speech in front of an audience, and I freeze up. Palms sweaty, heart pounding and I feel like I'm going to gag.  Sure I've done some talks and have appeared on some shows but I have honestly never committed to building these skills or mastered my nervous energy the way I have with dance. 

I decided to face my fear once and for all and just dive right in. I forced myself to my first Toastmasters meeting today after years (and years) of having it on my 'must-do' list.  I tried not to think about anything on my way over and if I did, I leaned towards my positive visualization tools instead of drowning my head with the most horrible thoughts.  It worked. Kinda.  I was just going as a guest anyway so I could just sit back and watch. No pressure. 

But nooo...little did I know that guests had to get up in front of the room and talk about a random (table) topic on the fly.  There goes that damn heart pounding thing again….I kept shaking my head in refusal but the group wasn't letting me off the hook so as one of the last to go up, I stumbled my way to the front of the room and made it happen somehow. It was alright. I guess. 

Well you can imagine my complete surprise when the group did a drum roll at the end of the night and awarded me with the "BEST TABLE TOPICS' ribbon award. What in the world? Who even knew this kind of thing existed? I went up and accepted my ribbon and thought to myself, Oh shit - do I have to say a speech? lol. 

So needless to say, lesson learned.  Face your fear because you never really know what can come out of it and in the progress, you definitely grow and learn about yourself.  

Now shopping around for the best Toastmasters club in the city to master these skills. Or maybe I could get into that sewing design class once and for all...or maybe brush up my my locking finally... 

Whatever it is, I'm sure as hell gonna dive.


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